Tip #103: Buy a Massage Table and Oils for All Your Homes!
All the time Retirement Yenta spends at her computer sharing her brilliant retirement tips has started to bother her back and shoulders and she has found that a good massage is the cure for what ails her. Your dear Yenta has found that it is wise to have a massage therapist close by all of her homes, so she can avail herself of the healing touch when the need arises. She also knows that having all the proper supplies (oils, lotions, and massage table) makes it that much more convenient to get her massage on.
Tip #102: Go Shopping in Your Closet!
As we all know, Retirement Yenta loves a good deal. One of the best deals to be found anywhere is in the back of your closet. Yes, that’s right…YOUR CLOSET. No, that’s not a hip, trendy, new boutique. It’s that space in your apartment where you store all those clothes you wear. Your dear Yenta strongly suggests that you go digging in your closet and pull out all those clothes you haven’t worn in a while. Try them all on. Then, choose what you want to purchase (it’s free!) and donate those other schmatas to a good cause. Don’t forget to try on all those shoes in the bottom of the closet. It’s amazing what you will find that you have forgotten. Your dear Yenta says: “Since it has been a while since you have had it on, it will feel like new to you and all your friends will think so too!”
Tip #100: Live Without Fear!
Today, ask yourself “what would you do if you weren’t afraid?” Use this as a mantra in those situations when you find yourself afraid–afraid of a new job, a new relationship, a new opportunity, i.e., retirement. So often we’re afraid to venture out for fear that we’re going to screw up or feel guilty. Your dear Yenta would like to remind you that this only makes you feel bad and it is truly limiting. Oy – dispense with this self destructive behavior already!
Tip #97: Buy A Posture Pump
As your dear Yenta advances in years she finds it harder and harder to eliminate the tension in her neck. Exercise certainly helps (thanks to Sexy Rexy), but she needed something more. Solution – Posture Pump. This ingenious and easy to use device helps to get the fluid flowing back into the discs of your neck. After only a few minutes, you’ll feel refreshed, relaxed, and possibly a few inches taller! Oy – just because you’re retired doesn’t mean you have to be uncomfortable. Find something else to complain about now that your neck isn’t sore.
Tip #96: Buy a T-Rex! (Once Again, Size Matters)
Nooooo, Retirement Yenta has not lost her mind. She is not telling you to buy a dinosaur. She is simply so excited about her new treadmill (see yesterday’s post: Get Physical!) that she just had to mention it again. The Yenta recently purchased a Bowflex 7-series treadmill that she likes to call “Sexy Rexy” and while it is a big machine, it can fold up and be stored neatly in a corner. Not only is Sexy Rexy a great machine, but it was labeled a best buy from Consumer Reports. The Yenta bought her treadmill on eBay (you know how your dear Yenta loves to save a buck!). Retirement Yenta keeps Sexy Rexy in her living room in front of the TV so she can hop on and “get her workout on” at any time of the day. She knows that the more she rides Sexy Rexy, the sexier this Yenta will become. Retirement Yenta says, “workout, so your belly won’t flop out!”
Tip #95: Get Physical
Retirement Yenta has found she enjoys getting physical. No, she’s not talking about Olivia Newton-John’s big hit from 1981 (though, she does like to get her “groove on” with that song). She is talking about getting physically fit. She thinks it is great to bring the gym to your own home. Buy a treadmill. Not only will it save you from the smell of hundreds of other’s sweat and dirty sox; it will also give you more motivation to work out. You will no longer have to drag yourself to the gym (and through the elements) to work out. It will be right there in your living room, awaiting your attention. Plus, you can watch your favorite “stories” while working out. Retirement Yenta says, “Get physically fit, and you will be a hit!” Just ask Olivia Newton-John!
