Posts Tagged ‘Murse’
Tip #157: Moisturize!
Oy Veh! The sun in Miami Beach can make a Yenta’s face feel like a tanned piece of leather. You have seen this look, dear Readers. Older Yenta’s that have spent too much time in the sun are not a pretty sight. With this in mind, this little Yenta is trying to take care of her face. Retirement Yenta knows that a smooth face is the success of moisturizing. Retirement Yenta recommends the Tight, Firm, and Fill line from Beauticontrol. They also have a great neck firming serum that will help reduce the signs of the turkey gobbler that can occasionally start to sag from a Yenta’s chin and neck. Retirement Yenta says: moisturize, moisturize, moisturize. It will keep you from looking like someone’s dried-up crocodile handbag.
Tip: #143: Start Writing a Journal
Retirement Yenta loves her life. She loves writing. She also loves writing about her life. She knows that exploring one’s past helps one make better choices in the future. So, with this in mind, your dear Yenta wants to recommend keeping a journal. This little Yenta loves nothing more than to sit back (on a rainy day, or Monday when she’s down) and read what she was doing one, two, or even 10 years ago! It gives her perspective on her past, and makes her feel more positive about her future. Besides, when this little Yenta gets asked to make a movie about her life, someone has to come up with the details. It can’t all be fiction!
Tip #137: Save Fiction for Old Age
Retirement Yenta believes in keeping her mind alert and active by learning new things (See Tip #114: Go Back to School). She knows that this will serve her well as her brain ages. Retirement Yenta also believes that fiction is fun, but should be saved for either times of complete relaxation (like sitting on Miami Beach, soaking up some rays) or for when she’s older and cannot get around as easy. So with that thought, your dear Yenta suggests that you save fiction for your golden years. This will continue to keep your mind working, but won’t add the stress of learning new things (Oy veh, Spanish is hard–see Tip #114). Retirement Yenta says: “Save fiction for old age, your mind and body will thank you.”
Tip #126: Stick To Black & White
Retirement Yenta, upon her arrival at her Miami Beach Oasis, realized something big. The clothes she has there are of two colors: black and white. Your dear Yenta realized how great it was to be able to mix and match her ensembles without much thought. This makes Retirement Yenta smile. Simplicity in life is a good thing. These black and white ensembles are humidity friendly, light weight, and can easily go from beach to shul in a snap, with the addition of the right coverup. Now, your dear Yenta realizes that one might look a bit drab with no color, so she recommends adding a splash of color with a nice lightweight scarf. It’s good for the wind, or those days that have the slightest of chills blowing in from the ocean. Retirement Yenta says: What’s black and white and red aaaaaallll over? The answer is: Retirement Yenta in her black and white ensemble with a nice red scarf (and a bit of a burn from too much sun).
Tip #118: Watch Hoarders, Get Disgusted
Retirement Yenta, in her effort to “Out Martha Martha” and become more zen, has been cleaning out her closets and getting rid of tchotchkes that are not important to her life. Sometimes a little tchotchke can have a bit of sentimental value, and OY is it tough to toss it! Yet, it takes up unnecessary space. Well, this brilliant Yenta has the answer: Watch Hoarders on A&E. Recently, your dear Yenta was having trouble with a cleaning spree and happened upon an episode of Hoarders. Well, that was all this Yenta needed. Bags and bags of unneeded tchotchkes are now off to Goodwill, Housing Works, and off to the dump.
Tip #110: Stock Up on Nice Pens
Retirement Yenta believes in luxury. Luxurious things makes a Yenta feel good when she is using them. It is a much more pleasant feeling to sign a check with a nice pen, than one of those cheap give-away pens you find at your local bank. Your dear Yenta suggests you stock up now ( as people start to text more), especially if you find your favorite pen on sale. This will ensure you have your favorite things around you when you are living on a fixed income. Retirement Yenta says: Buy Now, Save for Later!
Tip #106: Throw Out Your Tchotchkes
Once upon a time, a little Retirement Yenta had a dream…a VERY BIG dream. She wanted nothing more than to be the Martha Stewart of the Upper West Side Jewish Community. In all her hard work over the years, she collected little tchotchke after little tchotchke, making her home seem, well, homier. Then one day, Retirement Yenta woke up and found that her little apartment was no longer “just right” with tchotchkes, it was WAY TOO FULL! <shriek!> So, in an effort to “out Martha Martha,” Your dear Yenta started throwing out the tchotchkes that had no place in her life, and were taking up too much space! So, she has said it before, and she will say it again: Get rid of those tchotchkes and let the sun shine in!
Tip #102: Go Shopping in Your Closet!
As we all know, Retirement Yenta loves a good deal. One of the best deals to be found anywhere is in the back of your closet. Yes, that’s right…YOUR CLOSET. No, that’s not a hip, trendy, new boutique. It’s that space in your apartment where you store all those clothes you wear. Your dear Yenta strongly suggests that you go digging in your closet and pull out all those clothes you haven’t worn in a while. Try them all on. Then, choose what you want to purchase (it’s free!) and donate those other schmatas to a good cause. Don’t forget to try on all those shoes in the bottom of the closet. It’s amazing what you will find that you have forgotten. Your dear Yenta says: “Since it has been a while since you have had it on, it will feel like new to you and all your friends will think so too!”
